The Coffee Incident
by Lamker
Summary: They've all pretty much of had from the chief. He was getting more and more annoying by the day, and they could have sworn he was setting them up with the most ridiculous things, ranging from Kanda having needed to participate in a play, to Allen looking for a frog in a swamp. Suffice to say, they've had it.


**_Day 7: Walking out  
Free day: Fun, humor, crack fic. Based on picture on the cover_**

 **The Coffee Incident**

At the moment, four of the most active exorcists were in the dining hall, just trying to get past the day. Lenalee, despite her brother's wishes, still went off to missions, and came back tired, with her feet killing her. That's why she walked around in soft, fluffy slippers for now. Lavi's head just slipped into his eggs, but he didn't really care. Between all the missions and the records Bookman wanted him to memorize, he didn't even know which day it was. Kanda tried very, very hard not to show it, and since many didn't dare bother him, not many noticed. But if you look close enough for more than three seconds, you can see his eyes closed with his head lowered, occasionally even letting out a soft intake of breath. Allen thought that, eating would help him get his energy back. But as it stands, it only served to fill up for his basic needs, including his senses. So, when he ate up, he'd suddenly drop dead into whatever he was eating, snoring loudly.

The Finders pitied them, but dared not say it. They just cringed every time they heard a smack as either Lavi or Allen fell face first into their meal. They wanted to help, as Lenalee seemed far too shaky when she walked and needed a wall to steady herself. They didn't really care about Kanda, expect to keep out of his way more than usual, since now he almost always had Mugen out when he walked.

The other Exorcists were confused and worried, but weren't sure what to do. Miranda had offered her Time Recovery, but they all pointed out that it was only temporary and wouldn't do much. Marie offered to take part of their missions off, but Yuu grumbled that Tiedoll would probably be annoying him here too much. Krory tried to tag along one time, and came back on Lavi's back, asleep and hungry as hell.

In the end, the four found there was only one way they were all going to get some proper rest and recuperation – take care of the mastermind behind all of this.

* * *

"What are we supposed to do?" Allen mumbled, head resting on the table. The four had picked out the one in the furthest corner to figure out their plan.

"I'll slice his damn arms off," Kanda already had a grip on his Innocence as his eyes twitched when he spoke.

"Oi Yuu, that's a bad idea, even for you…" Lavi had his head against the wall, not even sounding like his usual teasing self.

"Why you-!" the samurai was about to slice the Jr. to shredders, but found he didn't even have the energy to move.

"That's you," the redhead muttered back, letting out a yawn.

"Enough," Lenalee glared at both of them. She's starting to get a headache and this pointless fighting isn't helping her. "I know we're all tired, but please, try not to kill each other just yet," she added with a sigh, rubbing her temples.

"So, what do we do?" Walker mumbled again, managing to prop his chin on his palm.

"He should know what it's like, to, ya know, work so much and be tired," Lavi grumbled, his head dipping a few times as he spoke.

"But he doesn't work at all. Or hardly," Yuu pointed out, part of his annoyance gone now.

"So we make him," Walker yawned and leaned back in the chair. "The Science Department would probably help us with that."

"And I think I know how to make sure he knows how we feel," Lee's eyes seemed to spark in mischief that none of them had seen before.

 _"…Scary…"_ they thought, imagining her laughing like a maniac.

* * *

The plan they came up with was… less than perfect – at least to the boys. The girl actually knew how much this would cause problems for everyone. The Science Department had, as they expected, been more than willing to help. Seems Komui wasn't only pushing the Exorcists to their limit. After making sure some preparations were complete, Reever stepped up and offered to do the first stage – get the Chief to actually work.

"But Reeeeveerrr! This is so much work!" Komui whined, looking at the stack of papers set on his desk. He actually had to stand up to see over them at the blonde.

"I don't care," the man grumbled back. "You've been a slave driver for the past two weeks – it's time you do something to."

"No fair! No fair!"

"If you don't, I'll tell Lenalee."

"No! No, don't! She'll start telling me it's too wrong and that I need to let up!"

"Then get to work."

As Reever left the office, he passed the four Exorcists and gave them thumbs up. They all gave a smile; some more wicked than the others, as they prepared for stage two.

* * *

Everyone knew Komui needed coffee to function for any sort of work. So, when the lack of the beverage came, he called for more.

"Sorry, but Lenalee is still recovering from her last missions," since it was his sister, the brother let it slide, but still, he wanted coffee.

"Jeryy said they ran out last night," Johnny told him, bringing in another stack of papers. "He isn't sure when the next batch will come.

"WHAT?!"

"Sorry chief, but it looks like you'll have to work without it," the boy gave an innocent shrug and left the office with the crying man.

"Not fair!"

Jeryy was actually a great help as well. He lied, saying there wasn't much left, but before that, he made a special new desert for everyone coming to the cafeteria that day. It included coffee, so everyone was a bit more hyper than usual. And a bit of what was left was brought to the Science department – poor bastards were still being overworked.

* * *

"How long do you think he'll last?" Allen asked, eating the rice.

"Probably an hour – two tops," Levi couldn't help but grin as he finished up his eggs.

"Che, he'll drop dead before then," Kanda grumbled, setting his chopsticks down.

"Come on you guys," Lenalee smiled, sipping the tea. "He'll start crying as soon as he hears."

The four had actually managed to get some rest – mainly due to the fact Komui was apparently too busy to send them off.

"So, who should go check first?" at that, all four of them looked at each other and in a second, three of them called "Not it!"

"Looks like it's you, Yuu!"

"What?" Kanda narrowed his eyes.

"You need to go check first – it's how the game works, Bakanda."

"Damn you, Beansprout!"

"Now, now, kids, play nice."

"Shut it you stupid rabbit."

"Just go on already, Kanda. I'll go next, then Lavi, then Allen."

"Che, fine, whatever."

* * *

"Oi, Sister Complex!" Kanda kicked the door open, annoyed more than anything, as papers went flying from the force of his kick. He saw the whole office was littered with them, more than usual, and there were stacks upon stacks on the table. But the man who was supposed to work here was missing.

The samurai narrowed his eyes and took a few steps forward, wondering where the idiot could have gone. He had this strange feeling that someone was watching him, like a predator who had just found some fresh prey.

"Stop messing around," he grumbled and unsheathed Mugen, slicing it through the air and tearing up some of the nearby papers. "Where are you?"

"Kanda~" the call was sweet, almost… loving? The Exorcist spun around in surprise, only to have something jump on him, knocking him to the ground. Yuu could only let out a yell as he crashed down, the figure right atop of him, holding him fast and hard.

"D-Damn you!" the samurai kicked and swung his blade, but the attacker only jumped away, as the lights flickered and turned off.

"Che," Kanda let out, gripping his blade and ready for another attack. This was not going to end well…

* * *

"Where do you think Yuu is?" Lavi mused, hands behind his head, as he, Allen and Lenalee finished up their meal. It's been almost half an hour since Kanda left.

"Probably stormed off after checking on him," Walker shrugged, letting out a yawn.

"We should probably go check on him, just in case," Lee offered, not sure why, but she had a really bad feeling about this…

* * *

When they arrived at the office, they were met with darkness, yells, grunts of pain and many, many curses. They even swore they heard someone laughing. Lavi quickly found the switch and turned it on, revealing the whole place to be a complete mess of ruined books, tattered papers and even drops of blood?

"Kanda?!" the samurai was leaning on his Innocence, panting and wounded, even if the scratches were starting to heal.

"Che, watch out!" Yuu managed to call, before a sweet humming sound was heard. "Damn, he's back!" in a moment, the lights turned off again, someone screamed very loudly, Allen activated his Innocence and grabbed Kanda, Lenalee kicked open the door with her Dark Boots and Lavi swung his Iron Hammer in an attempt to hit whatever was there.

* * *

It was only later revealed that, that was, in fact, Komui. The Science Department had already suffered from him, hence why no one was able to warn Kanda about it. As it turns out, keeping Komui away from coffee when he has to work is… not a good idea. The biggest problem however, was getting him to calm down. Reever had tried to offer a tray of coffee in peace, but ended up running and screaming out of the office room while books went flying after him. That left only one option – as the four of them started this mess, they had to finish it. Kanda refused to go back, no matter what anyone said, so it was up to Lenalee to try and get her brother to see sense. Surely he'd listen to his sister?

* * *

"You can do it, Lenalee!"

"Yeah, we believe in you!"

"Just get him out of there."

The three boys had walked with her up to the office, but didn't want to go in, so they offered to cheer her on from outside.

"Relax you guys, I'm sure it'll be fine," she assured them and took a deep breath before entering the office.

Immediately, she turned on the lights and activated her Innocence. She could see something moving around the corners, between the bookcases and under the papers, but stood her ground by the lights.

"Come on now brother, it's time to stop," she spoke carefully, always keeping an eye on the moving shadows. "I made you that special coffee you love," she added, twitching a bit when the shadow stopped and seemed to consider her.

"That's right, your favorite," she added, seeing it move again, this time more slowly towards her. She waited a few more seconds, before jumping in the air and back down, right atop the moving bundle. She hit hard, and stopped it from moving, yet it felt… off. Suddenly, it sizzled and sparks were sent flying, and she saw that it wasn't even human – it was one of Komui's Komlin robots. A second later, the lights were turned off and she heard someone call her name. Not a moment after, she felt someone grab her boots and pull her to the ground. Lena kicked it, but felt metal – another Komlin?

"I don't wanna hurt you~" came a soft call and she felt chills up her spine. "The others are evil! EVIL! That's why it's best you stay here~" she suddenly saw the office door open, three Innocences activating and the Komlins were destroyed. That however, caused them to topple onto her. Luckily, the three managed to dig her out quickly and rush out of the office, with cries of betrayal and promises of revenge coming after them.

Lenalee was taken to the infirmary, where she was given an onceover and found she had a mild concussion. Nothing to worry, they were assured, but she wouldn't be moving around much anytime soon.

* * *

Lavi was the next victim to try and fix the problem they made. He went in with his Innocence already activated, while Allen and Kanda kept by the door. He walked into the middle of the room, still being able to see due to his sharp eye, but extended his Hammer to hit the switch from there. And just in time, as someone was about to jump at him from behind. It let out a hiss and jumped away before the Bookman Jr. could even try and attack it. Unlike Lenalee and Kanda, Lavi had a long-range weapon if he wanted, and that just might help.

"C'mon chief, stop messin' around and let us help," he said cautiously, watching around the room and always glancing back at the lights.

"You took Lena!" the voice no longer sounded sweet, but took on a sinister and hateful tone. The redhead swallowed and spun around, trying to track down the source of the sound. But as soon as his back was to the lights, they turned off, and Lavi swung his Innocence around. It didn't hit anything, but after a few swings, when he had slowed down, he felt something behind him. He wasn't fast enough to try and stop it, as something hooked to the back of his shirt and sent him upwards.

"A-agh!" he let out, as breathing became hard. "It hurts! I'm choking!" he called out, hanging upside down as he swore something stood under him, laughing. "A-Allen! Y-Yuu!" he called and the doors were slammed open again, the two already swinging around their weapons. Kanda covered for them while Walker freed the redhead and they all ran out of the office yet again, only hearing laughter and 'Don't come back!'

* * *

Lavi was still able to go around after his… run in with Komui, yet refused to even look into the office. So he, along with Kanda, stayed outside as Allen braved the darkness. He was their last hope right now.

"Chief?" he called, Innocence at the ready. He was actually shaking a bit, but swallowed it and moved further. This time, there was not so much as an answer, as a roar. The bookshelf near him suddenly shook and tumbled, almost crushing him, but Walker managed to avoid it. However, he stepped too quickly on the littered papers and lost his footing, falling to his back. He heard laugher and something moving from the corner of his eye, so he used his hand to try and block it. Something smacked into it, let out a hiss and retreated, before finally turning off the lights.

Allen picked himself up quickly, almost losing his balance again, and braced himself for the attack which was sure to follow. And it came alright – at first just books, but then he felt something solid connected with his back, sending him spiraling forward. Before he could react, he felt something scrape against his neck, cutting off his air, before he felt a kick and he found himself rolling like a ball into the nearest wall.

Walker struggled to his feet and swung around his Innocence, only to hit nothing, while laughter flew in from every direction. Something squeaked to his right, and suddenly, another bookcase had dropped onto him. He let out a scream and saw the doors be blown open, light shining in, as his two friends dragged him out from under the case and out.

* * *

Allen ended up being in the infirmary, along with Lenalee and even Kanda and Lavi weren't let out until a few days later. Until then, no missions were given and the office was barred off to prevent Komui from leaving. However, when the days passed, the Science Department figured the man had calmed down enough to me checked on again.

And true as it was, Komui was found snoring on a pile of papers, muttering abound monsters and coffee. Kanda and Lavi very nearly went and killed the man, had the Head Nurse not practically tied them to their beds. Allen and Lena however, were very much relived that the man was back to normal, even if he didn't remember anything he did. That led to a very dramatic lie about how all four of them ended up hurt, but he bought it, so it was enough for them. The rest of the Order never spoke of the "Komui Coffee" incident ever again, and as new members came, it became a legend of sorts.


End file.
